Excuse the Rant: Parenting Memes

Please. Please. You’re driving me and I’m sure a ton of other women/mothers/breathing people crazy.

Yes, in the ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s you may have drunk from the waters hose (but I’m not lead poisoned!), may have rode without a car seat (and look at me avoiding a traumatic death without applicable gear!), and survived without the over-prescription of psychotropic drugs (because I think mental health is a sign of the times!).

Good for you, really. I mean that. I’m glad that you’ve made it this far without, I don’t know, severe injury or dysfunction. I am also glad (or at least I hope) that you have never needed any extra help with mental illness, physical disorder, or one of the many other treatable/preventable setbacks that can occur with daily life. However, please keep your gloating to yourself.

Your memes (“hand sanitizer didn’t exist, but you could get your mouth washed out with soap”) are irritating. Do you want to be the person saying to a new mother, “In my day if you were afraid of the dark we locked you in a room at night until you got over it!”? Because I certainly lump you in with those folks, and I’ve indeed heard this argument before.

Despite your social media encouragement I will not be allowing my children to ride in the car unbuckled, use the streetlights as their curfew reminder, or get paddled for discipline. Why? Because I want to keep them safe. Because I love them. Because, as we know now through the sharing of information and legitimate studies, there are children out there who get very hurt doing these things.

I already hear your next argument, again from personal experience, “but something could happen to you any day, even just crossing the street!” Yes, you’re right. That is why I hold my children’s hands when they cross the street.

Am I saying that your parents weren’t or didn’t act in your best interest? That’s the thing. I’m not. I am almost positive that your parents were doing the best they could with the tools they had. That’s all I am trying to do, too. I just want you to be aware that my toolbox is filled with implements that are quite a bit different than those your parents may have had. My own children’s parenting toolbox will have evolved beyond my own, down the road.

But please, please by all that is good and holy, don’t let me throw it in their faces that “back in my day” we did things so very less cautiously, and look how alive we still are.